i am my own prince charming.

i've always believed in fairy tales.

a life with hardships but with a positive character to sing her way through them.

adventures of excitement & fun; creating the best memories.
and when they least expect it, a charming man to sweep them off their feet.

the only difference is of course, when he finds me

i won't be helplessly locked in a tower.

or  at the clutches of an evil witch/stepmother/dragon.

i can handle all of that myself.

i'll probably be tripping over my feet

or sneezing in my chai latte.

but i am in no hurry.

i have many a chai to sneeze in

and many dragons to fight off

before i can be swept anywhere.

and besides, i need my feet.

how else will i pirouette?

there are over 7 billion people in the world.

is it really possible to find that perfect match when there are 7,003,554,290 other people in the world?

 

well, lets see...

we can rule out the 3,477,504,010 other women.

the 1,414,520,076 men over 35.
and the 1,251,445,975 under 20.

that leaves me 806,084,229... well, 806,084,228.

but then there's the men who are related to me...

and the ones in prison...

and the people who don't speak english...

oh and the boys who like other boys.

and, while we're at it, lets just throw out all the:   cheaters  

                                                       liars  

                                                       hipsters

                                                       assholes

                                                       gangsters

                                                       bros

                                                       w.o.w.

                                                         enthusiasts

and throw out all the ones who don't enjoy:   margaritas

                                              dogs

                                              sarcasm

                                              pokemon

                                              chocolate

                                              ballerinas

and to narrow it down more, must have:   good manners

                                         dreams & goals

                                         appreciation of anti-humor

                                         a kind heart

                                         a secret (but strong)

                                                   romantic facet

                                         a desire to learn & laugh

... and some good looks (i am only human after all.)

well then, after much calculation on the subject,

i have found the answer.

1. Me.

ok so i don't fall into the male category,
 but i am the one person that i need.

& until "the one" finds me, i'll have my pokemon cards and a recoding of mitch hedburg's standup to keep me company.

i have a broken heart.

i know myself and my heart better than anyone else.

and i have to say, i am quite surprised about my behavior lately.

i've hardly cried.

i've laughed a lot.

its broken for sure - but i don't suppose you could tell.

i dare say that it is because;

he has lost someone that loved him very much, i have not.

i look forward to happiness.

unaware bliss.

A perfect way to spend a saturday afternoon when in love.

cuddled on a couch, drinking a cup of coffee 

and reading the news together.

and for the rest of us - to our perfect saturday.

a perfect cup of chai and a cozy place to read.

oh to love;

to the shared blissfulness

and unawareness of it all.
cheers.

ferris wheels.

some people believe ferris wheels are scary.

         some people think they are romantic.

           others believe they are dangerous.

                and some find them thrilling.

i agree with the first "some."

but that doesn't keep me away.

because the romance pulls me in.

the danger makes me hold on tight.

& the thrill keeps me wanting more.

i rock a lot of polka dots.

The Lady Bug

"lady bugs will appear to us when we have an

opportunity to succeed, grow, and start something new."

i do have a thing for those spots & i welcome the transformation. 

 "let Ladybug consume your unwanted fears and encourage new adventures."

- alright then Ms. Bug, consume away.

goobers.

dear eddie,

i think of you and miss you every single day. but the fact that you aren't here is once again forced in my face; 5 years later.

you didn't want to take me home from the hospital and you told me the mud was quicksand.

you made me be the robber when i wanted to be the cop and you told me that the house on the mountain was haunted and would move every time i looked at it.

you told me i was a goober and that i absolutely HAD to marry you.

But, when something broke upstairs, we both agreed and firmly said that "nobody did it."

when i wanted to climb the trees even though my mom said no, you'd keep the secret for me.

and when i told you that i got accepted into college, you were the first to hug me.

and i know that when i tell you about what i want in life, or that i'm worried, or that i'm happy, or that i'm in love - you still hear me and smile.

I love you so much ed - way too much to ever say goodbye.

and i miss you everyday... but you already know that.

stay close.

<3, the goober.

bad days.

what do you do when all they want to do is to be left alone,

and all you want is for them to be around?

its not about what we talk about,

its just about hearing back from you.

clichés.

whose dream as a little girl wasn't to be a ballerina?

"never give up on your dreams."

"you can do anything you put your mind to."

its finally time to put these clichés to the test.

bring on the pirouettes.

my christmas gifts

When people asked what i wanted for Christmas this year,

i told them i just wanted to be happy.

&theygavemejustthat.

Merry Christmas <3